Impromptu decision to head down to fashion fast forward at topshop because i needed a break before my final paper. Well I must say it is pretty cool since it was my first time attending a social fashion event. The entire building was close for the event and there was a 20% discount for all items. How cool is that? Manage to get myself some make-up products:) Bumped into benghow at the event. Random much but nice to see him again!

Been following elections over the past 2 weeks and I must say that I'm pretty proud of the results. It is rather predictable that PAP would still be the ruling party but things are different now. We've WP in the parliament to keep them on their toes. Makes me wonder how things are going to be like in the coming 5 years. What is going to happen to Singapore and its citizens? What is going to happen to my generation? What is going to happen to my friends and I after graduation in 2 or 3 years? I'm not sure if i'm anticipating a change. Part of me is hoping that time will stop because i don't wanna grow up. Not possible i know. Well, shall stop thinking so much and get back to my mugging mode. 1 paper down and I can't wait for exams to be over. Looking forward to my holidays:):):) I don't really have a concrete plan yet but this holiday is going to be an awesome and meaningful one! Who doesn't like holidays? 

Resolution for a month starting from today, 18th April.

1, Stop procrastinating.
2. Study very very, i mean very very hard.
3. Maximise time with the people living near me.
4. Stop wasting time. 
5. Get a nice tan.
6. Make sure self-motivation>stress level
7. Spend more quality time with X, Y, Z.
8. Plan my awesome holidays after 19th May. (Yes i do realised that my exams will be over in a month)
9. Start talking to people whom i lost touch with, whether on purpose or not.
10. Hope i'll follow 1-9

If you still happen to chance upon this blog, congratulations because i don't think many people out there still know the existence of this blog. Hello baby, I know you're reading. I was quite disappointed when i found out that you have been reading this little space of mine:( didn't have the intention of letting this blog go high profile so that i can express my feelings without restrictions. And you will tell me that: If you wanna keep your blog as a secret, why didn't you lock it? Well, now i'm confessing that i do have private entries in my journal which i'll never ever share with anyone, not even boyfriend or best girlfriend. Perhaps its a bad habit of mine for keeping things to myself. I still believe that everyone ought to have their share of secrets. We all have deepest darkest secrets for a reason. Well, if you're reading, thank you because i know you care:) 

This reminds me of stalking my old friend's blog which she thought no one was reading. It's heart-warming to know that someone out there is looking out for you isn't it?

Just a few days back, I had an impromptu drinking session with my girls. After that night, I realised we've so many secrets. A number of them spilled out and they kinda blew me off. I guess its a good thing to keep it to themselves at that time because i wouldn't tell anyone about it if i were in their shoes. The point is, I feel that my friends and I are more mature and we have all moved on from the past. Planning for the future is a norm. We may appear insane and happy go lucky all the time, but we're changing. I can feel it. I love my friends, because whatever happens we don't judge each other. How sweet.

We came to this topic, about getting back together with the ex/getting over the previous relationship. Personally, I don't believe in getting back together with the person after a breakup and getting over a relationship is a bitch. I mean, what's the point of breaking up when you are getting back with the person again. Its terrible for both sides but i guess shit happens, life goes on, people move on. I just wanna tell my friend, it is not worth damaging your prospects for that person. Either you let him go, or love him forever. The later would probably not be the case for you. I hope you get over this hurdle soon my friend. Take care.

This is a pretty random way to end my entry but i feel that my body is screwed up. I'm not sleeping and eating properly, whereas my work is coming in constantly. Once again, i need to wake up my idea and tell myself i'm not superwoman. Goodnight.

How can people not like this song? I think it's an amazing song. Sure, it makes you think about some things, but the message overall is a good one. Some people are just afraid to think about things that bug them, just keep the mask up so no one knows your pain. I think i'm one of them.

Fckin' Perfect lyrics by Pink
Made a wrong turn
Once or twice
Dug my way out
Blood and fire
Bad decisions
That's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, missundaztood
Miss "no way it's all good"
It didn't slow me down
Mistaken
Always second guessing
Underestimated
Look, I'm still around...

Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than
Fuckin' perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're fuckin' perfect to me

You're so mean
When you talk
About yourself
You are wrong
Change the voices
In your head
Make them like you
Instead
So complicated
Look how big you'll make it
Filled with so much hatred
Pink Fuckin' Perfect lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/pink-fuckin-perfect-lyrics.html

Such a tired game
It's enough
I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons
See you same

Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than
Fuckin' perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing

You're fuckin' perfect to me
The world stares while I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in lying and I tried tried
But we try too hard, it's a waste of my time
Done looking for the critics, cuz they're everywhere
They don't like my genes, they don't get my hair
Stringe ourselves and we do it all the time
Why do we do that?
Why do I do that?
Why do I do that?

Ooh, pretty pretty pretty,
Pretty pretty please don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less then, fuckin' perfect
Pretty pretty please if you ever ever feel
Like you're nothing you're fuckin' perfect, to me
You're perfect
You're perfect
Pretty, pretty please don't you ever ever feel like you're less then, fucking perfect
Pretty, pretty please if you ever ever feel like you're nothing you're fucking perfect to me

You are only considered close to that person, only when you've seen the weakest side of him/her.

Something is wrong with me. I always believe that i have this problem in me which i can conquer, called overcommitment. I'm so wrong! & I can't blame anyone for this, because i got myself into this state, or rather this pile of deep shit. I am going to die. The string is going to snap. Somebody pull me out of here and tell me that everything's gonna be alright. How am i ever gonna learn? That it is not within my capacity to manage so much stuff at one go? Why am i such a busybody? Why must I be involve in everything. I know i cannot go back to my words and i just have to press on. I can't help it because my personality is like that. Sorry i just need to rant at something. I need to set my priorities right. Help!:(

CNY feels kinda different this year! Apart from all the usual visiting, photo-takings, goodies and what not, I think things are really different now. I'm no longer the girl who looks forward to eating cny goodies and big fat angbaos. Okay i'm kidding, i'd love to get more angbaos of course. No doubt change is the only constant. We've more families formed over the past year. That means additional members to the family:) Everyone moving forward and progressing in life, I'm really contented to see all my relatives and friends like that. Frankly its awesome catching up with relatives and friends whom you get to see once a year during cny, but we get awkward silence when we talk to each other don't we? Maybe because i'm not close enough to some of my relatives, but fact is we only get to meet up once a year unless we've events like weddings or funerals(don't mind me haha!) Oh wells can't blame anyone for that! Anyway, the point is i super appreciate my parents for bringing everyone together every year because i don't think anyone else would be bothered to do that. That's why i decided not to open-house for my friends to decrease my parents' workload since they have so many gatherings to organise at hand. I am so filial:D Same appreciation goes to my dear friends who organise gatherings. I love you all! Have a blessed rabbit year:)

Hello journal:) Sorry for neglecting you! Life has been too happening after the end of sem1. I was busy soaking myself in the x'mas atmosphere with different groups of old and new friends. I spent the actual day with my family in genting. Though i can't deny the fact that genting is a real boring place, i gotta admit that it was awesome to get out of town once in a while:) After a few days when we got back, 2010 ended! How fast time flies! Countdown was spent with boyfriend and friends in ntu, simple and nice:)

Thank you everyone who made me 2010 a wonderful one. It is the bestest year i've had for the first 20 years of my life. I looked back at my private journal in 2010 and realised i've grown up quite a bit. Experienced several types of jobs, went for a holiday trip with my bestfriends and had so much fun for my first sem in uni. I've made many new friends from all walks of life in 2010 and i appreciate everyone of you for coming into my life. 2011 can never be comparable with 2010. Haha maybe its too early to say that! Here i shall make some secret resolutions for 2011 and hopefully they'll come true.

Lastly, Happy CNY all! Have a great year ahead:)

Love,
Caryn